The Carousel.

"This device isn't a spaceship; it's a time machine. It goes backwards and forwards. It takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called the wheel. It's called the carousel. It lets us travel the way a child travels, around and back home again to a place where we know we are loved.

- Don Draper, Mad Men

If you ever watch the show Mad Men, one of the very best episodes involved the lead character, Don Draper, presenting a campaign to the Kodak client. It was when the company, Kodak, was in the process of introducing what they called the “wheel.” You are probably familiar with the product---it was a circular device that sat on top of a projector and you used it to give slide shows for business or family. (If you could afford one that is.)

So what does this have to do with the last day of “Snap. Shot?”

For the past 12 months I feel like I have travelled by time machine to my past, my future and to life at the very moment I was writing “Snap.Shot.” I think many of us all have a desire to look in the rear view mirror and “go back home again,” but we also know you can never go back; you can visit, but often your room is occupied with boxes or someone else who has taken it over. However, there is one thing about going back home---no matter how tough of a year, month, week or day you have had, it’s a place “where we know we are loved.” For the many years I have lived away from Chesterfield, MO, I have always known there was love, and a bed waiting for me, any time I needed it.

When I started “Snap. Shot,” never in my wildest dreams did I think it would continue beyond a few days. Like life, things get in the way; yes I was late a few days over the past year, but I made up for missing a day. It was on those days when I believe I best captured my feelings, because I felt like I was letting readers and myself down; I was really focused on writing something extra special because it was on the forefront of my mind. Wow, who would ever have thought? Not me.

The photo above was taken at a local park a couple of weeks ago. I love this photo---it reminds me of life as I knew it when I was the age of these children; it was summer, life was carefree, and when I went home, I knew this would be a place where one day ,“I would ache to go again.” I had no idea how true this feeling would end up being.

I am getting off the ride for a few months. My ticket has expired, but I will be back; I will let you know should you want to start reading again. I don’t know what form or topic I will write about---but I do thank you for letting me know you were reading. "Snap. Shot" became a very personal part of my life.

Before I go, I would like to say thank you to my Sister for being a constant reader; my brother for printing out copies for my Dad; my Dad for being interested in reading “Snap. Shot.,” but never fully understanding how to find the site and why I wrote it; and my kids for being there to ask, “Are you writing your blog again?” But most of all I would like to thank the two women in my life who have guided me through life’s journey ---my Mother, who I miss every day and my wife Susan who is truly the love of my life.

Thanks for stopping by.

Live like you were dying.

“He said: "I was in my early forties,

"With a lot of life before me,

"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.

"I spent most of the next days,

"Looking at the x-rays,

"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."

I asked him when it sank in,

That this might really be the real end?

How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?

Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."

An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,

"To live like you were dyin'."

-Tim McGraw

Normally I would not include lyrics this long from a song, but as we near the end of “Snap. Shot.” I really thought it was fitting to leave off with a song that means, has meant, so much to me.

This song is a perfect example of life as I knew it, and now life as I know it. Sure we all get in out ruts, but when we see a different pathway, do we take it or just go with the flow? For so long I went with the flow and I am very glad I did. Why? Because as the lyrics above state, “I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter” and best of all, I learned “to live like you were dying.”

I have hurt a lot of people over time as I have made some very difficult decisions; hurting is not an attribute I am too terribly proud of, but as I look back, I think we have all come full circle. Some of the people I hurt I am friends with again---some who I did not hurt, I am no longer in contact with. I wish I was---but then again, this is life.

If there was one single person I could thank for standing by me when I wrote this goofy blog during the past year, it would be my wife Susan. She actually understood what daily writing did for me. Not many people could possibly understand it…she did. I love her for understanding who I am, and what I need as a person to express myself. She reads me very well. Too well at times.

I have heard from many people who have let me know they read “Snap. Shot.”---not everyday, but consistently. That’s just amazing---when I started I had no idea anyone would ever read it. Thank you very much for coming on this road with me.

The photo above is perfect for today’s blog. Taken on the day we said goodbye to my Mom, we set out to a park near the home where I grew up. We had every member of our family there---and together as we shed tears over the loss of my Mom, we all knew we had to continue on and “live our lives like we were dying.” We miss you Mom.

Thanks for stopping by.