The most important photo I have ever taken.

When you take a picture, it’s often just a click of a shutter and either the person loves it or doesn’t. “Doesn’t “is more common than love, but sometimes it has more of a meaning than we ever thought it would.

About 7 months ago, I was photographing shirts, bibs and other incidentals for a restaurant located in Chicago. We photographed at our home and children and adults were the models. The models were friends of the owner---or regulars at the restaurant. One thing about the models, they were all very attractive and very photogenic. It’s very interesting when you do a shoot like this in your home, especially when you don’t know any of the people who you are photographing.

There were a few standouts from that day; the kids who were modeling everything from bibs to t-shirts to long-sleeve shirts were very well behaved and really cute. There was one girl who had her Mom’s coloring and incredible hair. It was long, curly and she had a presence you could just feel when she came in the room---she was probably 7---but you just knew she was going to photograph very well. Her parents were with her---but unfortunately she was not in the mood to have her picture taken when she first came to our studio. This was going to take work. It did. However, we got some really nice photos of her, and her brother, when it was all over.

The parents were the only ones who had agreed to have their pictures taken; she was black and he was white---a very striking couple. In love, and very proud of their children, you just knew this was the right family for this photo shoot. I took about 6 or 7 pictures of the couple---they came out as I had hoped they would. I think it was the dark coloring of their shirts and the way they just fit together that made this work.

Move ahead 7 months and I received a note from the owner of the restaurant. It read, “Hi Mark, I have a request regarding the photos that you took for my Sweet Maple Cafe web site. If you could call me as soon as possible I would really appreciate it.” I had no idea what she wanted. Now I do.

It turns out the photos I took of this couple were some of the last ever taken of them together; after a six week ordeal, at age 45, the husband died. I was terrified. My fear stemmed from not being sure I actually still had the photos--- thankfully I did---and the pressure these photos put on me to make sure I could deliver them to a grieving family, was one I had never experienced as a photographer.

I never knew this couple, I only took photos; I have sent my condolences to the family along with the disc. (They were also e-mailed, are on an external hard drive and are on my computer---these are important photos, ones that have taken on a completely different meaning after this week.) At this moment in time, these are the most important photos I have ever taken.

The photo above is of the couple---I don’t know their names, all I know is the family is torn apart with such a sudden loss. Life is short, make the most of it---and for me, I will always keep the photos I have taken in a safe place.

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Bumper Stickers.

We recently became one of the families who must enjoy expressing their opinions on the outside of their cars. We are the proud bearer of 2 bumper stickers. It was not my idea, it was one of my daughters---I know which one.

The first sticker lets the world know we are a diving family. Although I was not there, when they went to Asia this past spring, scuba diving (with tanks and all) was one of the activities they did. They trained, were certified, and spent hours in the ocean. Now our town, and anyone who sees our SUV, is well aware---we (they) are divers. I am fine with it---it’s a cool activity and one most of us have likely not done. I haven’t at least.

The second bumper sticker is a quote from Gandhi---Lord help me.

Recently, after our trip to California, in addition to dirty clothes, screwed up time zones, and memories brought home with us---that same daughter brought back a new way of thinking back with her. She wants to practice, in part, Buddhism. In addition, she wants to eat only grass-fed meat, organic fruits and vegetables and food that has not been “washed” in ammonia. When she first came home, and started to explain her newfound way of life---at 13—I listened. Somewhat. Then as she went on to tell me everything I was doing was wrong---as far as what I was putting in my body, the way animals are treated, etc—I then half listened. Okay, maybe I caught every 7^th word. I do respect her interest in this lifestyle change, but I really don’t see myself making the changes. I like meat, I like junk food, and am fine with what goes in my body. I might learn differently, but for now----give me a steak and it doesn’t have to be grass fed.

Back to bumper stickers.

Pretty soon we will see more and more bumper stickers affixed to cars throughout America. It’s hard to believe, but the Presidential elections are not that far away and bumpers far and wide will be well primed to carry the messages throughout the land. It might be for a Proposition trying to be passed in California, a pressing issue here in the Midwest, and countless Senate, Congressional and local races throughout all 50 states. But, the granddaddy of them all will be for the Presidential race. Some will be comical, others will be right to the point, and some will be in between. During the last Presidential race, a common bumper sticker focused on “1-20-09.” This was the day George W. Bush would be leaving office. They were able to produce these well in advance as he had finished serving his second term—even if it was not part of our constitution, I don’t think he would have been re-elected.

I believe I discussed this in a previous “Snap.Shot.” but one of the funniest bumper stickers I have ever seen was on a car (I guess it was a car---actually a real beater) read, “Don’t Laugh, Your Daughter Might Be In This Car.” Although more than 30 plus years ago---it stands out as the one that made me laugh and tell a lot of other people about what I had seen.

The photo above was taken in Indiana a few months ago. I am sure she doesn’t practice “witchcraft” and I have no idea what her sexual interests are, but she sure let’s people know her feelings about going to church. Only in America can we make statements that reflect our point of view on a bumper sticker---and not feel the repercussions. I am proud to say, we are now doing the same on our car---I will assume Gandhi must have been a diver.

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Thank you.

When I was growing up, we were in-between wars until I was about 8 years old. There had been many threats to the U.S.---Cold War, Bay of Pigs, and so forth, but all in all, we were at peace. It was not until the Vietnam War erupted that I, as an American, received a small taste of what war was all about. I saw it from a young child looking at 18 year olds, and their families, sweating out the pulling of the draft numbers. I didn’t really grasp it all, but as I look back on these times as an adult, I have a better understanding. All in all, it was not a great time in American history, but in many respects it was one of the best.

What?

The downside of war of course is the loss of life or, and I am not sure which really is worse, the lasting effects of combat. Whether physical or mental, many soldiers returned with scars that would end up never healing. For me, I am not sure which would be worse---I assume if you are still alive that beats the alternative. I am sure there are many veterans who might disagree. I really don’t know because I grew older during peaceful years and I doubt there would be much interest of having a 50-year-old+ man on the front lines. I have never shot a gun before, probably not the best time to learn.

In the early 1970s, America went through a huge transition; because of the baby boom that had occurred after WWII, many of the children from these families were of age and they let it be known, through protests and voting, that this was not going to work for them any longer. There needed to be change. The Vietnam War and other social unrest created such tensions in our land that I have to believe secession, on behalf of those under 30, was a considered. Thankfully it didn’t happen.

So where are we now? Well, this past spring my wife and kids went to Vietnam; they didn’t go as soldiers, they went as visitors to the country. Yesterday there was an article on line that reviewed how the relationship between the U.S. and Vietnam had become closer than it has been in many years. This was a country that divided our country---it’s amazing how time does heal a lot of the deepest wounds. Of what I have heard about Vietnam---there has been some change, but the country is still very rural, and the poverty still quite visible.

Probably the images that were etched deepest in a young person’s mind during this time of war, was how the soldiers came home to our land. They were treated not as heroes in many respect, but as villains; how unfair is that? I am pretty sure most people do not enjoy going to war with another country---and going to another land to risk your life is probably not a choice they would have made. But, when your number is called, and you have to make the sacrifice, it takes extreme bravery to answer the call.

The photo above was taken at Midway Airport recently. When I exited the plane, I heard music and the area filled commotion. Mind you, this is an airport. Remember security? The ceremony was to welcome WWII Veterans back from a trip to Washington D.C. to visit the WWII memorial. I think it’s only fitting that this trip was given to them at no charge---we have to remember, they had another trip to a distant land they were not charged for either. Unfortunately many of these soldiers were never able to take the trip home. So for all of the soldiers who have done what I have not done, I would like to say, “Thank you.” We will never forget your courage and bravery in making our land safe and free.

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Summer meets fall.

It’s hard to believe the summer is winding down. Full of memories and moments that made my favorite time of the year as enjoyable as I remember it always to be. There is little doubt I’ll have similar feelings in January when it’s snowy and cold outside---but when the summer ends, all hope is not lost, now comes “photography time.” (That would be “Miller Time” but in this case for photography.)

Before it all ends, and the flakes start to fall, I am hoping to have photographed the changing of the seasons, high school football, little league sports and thousands of other pictures; that’s the most fun, because you have no idea what you’ll be shooting. There is little doubt, the most beautiful photos will be the change of seasons. Fall colors explode on cue and make a once average looking tree into a virtual masterpiece. It’s too bad the colors don’t last long---you can blame that on Mother Nature.

Before all of this happens, the game of football awaits. I photographed my first “real games” last year---I learned being so close to the field (I was on it) is why people are so “into” this sport. The yelling, singing, and bands all happening at the same time are unlike any experience I have encountered. In fact, when they all come together, and you are shooting photos on the field, you can’t hear a darn thing. It’s all muffled. The most important memory of last season was the success of our local team---they went from an average team one year to the state playoffs the next. Did I feel closer to them by having photographed part of their journey? You bet I did. So did others in our town.

If you will recall from a previous “Snap. Shot.” the team didn’t end up carrying the trophy home, but they truly walked away winners. Their determination and drive was contagious---I have no idea what will be happening this season, but I will be there snapping away with my trusty Nikon.

This weekend one of the most anticipated events will be happening along the lakeshore; it’s the annual air and water show. If you have been to this mega-event, you know it is amazing. I have only been to the practice days as the crowds are ridiculous. I thought the Blackhawk’s victory parade was crowded…this event makes it look like a small social gathering. Provided all goes well---it doesn’t rain---I will be taking photos on Friday. Provided things go really well, you will see the photos on “Snap.Shot.”

The photo above is of my youngest daughter’s bike. Along with a balloon—she wanted to make sure we could find it---we parked and went to grab a bite at a local restaurant. There is something about spring, summer and fall that brings out the best in what life has to offer—I am sure one day I will say this about winter, but I am still looking for rationale.

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The game face.

I wear two game faces when I have to do something I really don’t enjoy doing. One is worn at work when I have to go into a difficult meeting; the other is at home when I have to deal with a situation that has occurred---of course no one will take credit for it, so that’s half the fun.

The trouble with wearing my game face with our kids is they know when it’s on; when one of them pushes, tattles, or leaves a mess they know when it’s all said and done we move back to normalcy. They know it comes soon so they will usually say, “I am sorry” or “I won’t do it again” and in the back of both of our minds, we know they will do it again. And probably again. Turn off the lights, put the dishes in the sink/dishwasher, or clean up their rooms---either they have short-term memories or they know they can get away with it. I bet you can guess which one? I can.

So what do we do?

I am a stickler about the lights---I think I got it from my grandfather who would walk around the house and turn out the lights. Nothing disgusts me more than dirty plates left behind---but when it comes to a messy room? I say, “Let them live in it.” We do. If they want it to be livable, which apparently they really don’t care about often, then they can find their path to the bed and hop up. Unfortunately they learned this trait from me as the clothes have piled up on my chair for long periods of time; I just am not neat.

Probably the most memorable game face I ever had to put on occurred about 15 or so years ago. My son Jason had been acting peculiar; something was just not right and it was obvious. He was quiet and was on edge---not his style back then. Finally I said, “Jason, what’s going on, you have not been acting yourself for several days.” At that point I could tell the truth was about to be told He said, “Dad, have you ever gotten a 38 on a math test before?” I thought about as I now knew the truth. I said, “A 38? I don’t think I ever got a 38, perhaps a 31 or 42, but not a 38.” Blood rushed back into his face.

It turns out he was scared because he had to have the paper signed by a parent; it was signed, but it was very obvious the signature was his. This is when the game face came on. I let him know that forging was not a good idea and I am hopeful he learned a lesson from this. He assured me he did and I let him know I did not expect this to happen again. He was so grateful for not being in a lot of trouble. He went off to play somewhere and I had to leave the house as I was having a very difficult time not laughing. Finally I stepped outside and could not stop laughing---if there was ever an honest moment, I had just witnessed it. Obviously I still remember it today---and that was a long time ago.

The photo above was taken at Indiana University. On the side of a truck was this photo of a “game face.” Ready to cheer in a very serious way---he wanted to show his allegiance to the Hoosiers. We all have our game faces, let’s hope we can wear it with pride the next time it is on---and when it’s off, have a good laugh.

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Long distance.

About 15-20 years ago, Sprint did something extraordinary. They came out with a promotion that long distance calls would be priced at a dime a minute anywhere in the United States. A dime a minute. That was an incredible rate; on top of that, they claimed the clarity was so great, you could hear a pin drop.

When I was in college, I would often get a call from my folks and if they did call, the yelling of the initials, “L.D” would race through the halls of our fraternity. L.D. or long distance, was not a dime, not even close to a dime---more like .50 cents or higher.

Why? There really was no competition in the form of another carrier---we had GTE---or cell phones, phone cards, or anything like that. When you had a long distance call you talked fast and you made sure it was not one that lasted too long. Get this, we actually wrote letters so we could spend more time discussing what we needed to talk about. I know, it is shocking isn’t it?

I remember when I first put AOL on a computer. I learned that through this system called the “world wide web” you could travel to countries all over the globe, and either obtain information or get this---talk on line. It brought the world together---it was not long distance as we knew it, it was the internet.

In 1994 I got my first cell phone. It was big, bulky and it was restrictive. Want to make a call when you are outside your area? You had what were called “roaming charges.” You not only paid for the minutes used, but you paid a fee to use a different carriers lines. It would add hundreds if not thousands of dollars to yearly phone bills. There were stories of people receiving phone bills of more than a thousand dollars and they had no idea how this could have happened. It did.

Life has changed. Now we have long distance that is part of your monthly bill---at least for us it is---and the fear that once would restrict people from using their cell phones is almost non-existent. The majority of our phone bill shows texting as the biggest user of the phone---wisely we have an unlimited package. If not, we would not be able to handle the amount of texting that takes place.

The photo above is of telephone poles in the country. I believe they will be with us for years to come because they must serve a different purpose than just land-line calls. Sure there are still billions of calls made on a traditional phone, but like the postal service there has been a dramatic shift in how people talk. The cell phone is now the smart phone and the smart phone makes you look smart---at least to those who don’t know what it can do for them.

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At seventeen.

When I was growing up, there was a song, “At Seventeen” sung by Janis Ian. The song was about the challenges age 17 bring to girls and boys---but in this song the focus was on girls. It was a very sad song, actually depressing, about a girl who set her sights on the unachievable and in her mind she felt very unpopular and ugly.

In our home we are very fortunate; yes our daughters claim to be unpopular and ugly at times, but I can assure you, and them, they are not. They have a circle, a broad one, of friends and under no circumstances would they be seen as ugly. But, like all sisters and daughters, when they fight and argue, it does get ugly---but that’s a different type of ugliness, as we all know as parents.

Our 17-year old is named Cheney. We do not share the same last name, but you would be hard pressed to know she is not my biological daughter. She has really shown us that she can rise above the crowd at times by making incredible grades (I don’t know how she does it with the hours she keeps) and her college prep test scores are reflecting the grades she is making in school. In other words, the grades are no fluke.

Cheney has really broadened her presence since I came into her world and vice versa. She is not as shy as she was when I first met her---yes she does put on the sweet/shy act when necessary, but she has come out of her shell. She needed to and she has responded well. How did it happen? Part maturity, part boys, and part freedom. Like fools at times, we do give her more rope than we should. She is a good person, she is unfortunately a teenager; not her fault but she does do some things that we have to question at times. But then again, she is taking many of the responsibilities---school, driving, work seriously. A very good thing.

Since I came into Cheney’s life more than 8 years ago, I have witnessed her turn into a woman; sure she has some growing up to do, but when you look at how she has grown and the role she plays in the household, I am very proud of what she has overcome. Like my kids from my first marriage, she had to accept a new person coming into her life---it has taken time, but it works. As I have told her countless times, when you get married, just not yet, "I will be walking you down the aisle." Her Dad is more than welcome to join us---we will both escort her.

The photo above was taken on Cheney’s 17^th birthday. Similar to other birthdays in our home, we turn down the lights, light the candles, and the trusty ol’Nikon goes to work; I love these photos---they glow and are so full of life in an interesting way. Life is not always easy, and I know it’s not easy being a kid---especially at 17.

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