Letting them know you were there.

"And all of a sudden goin' fishin'

Wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I, I finally read the good book
And I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again."

For every trip to St. Louis, one stop I make every attempt to make, is to the cemetery where various family members now call home. Yes, I have written on this topic before, but during this time of the year,when the holidays are upon us, family matters.

A few weeks ago my brother and I went out to visit my parents and aunt and uncle. He said, “Do you want to see where our grandparents are buried?” Of course I did. So we ventured to the front of the cemetery and there was the stone that reminded me of where I got my height, weight and perhaps sense of humor. Actually, my grandfather was a very funny man. He was very thin and quite bald; I was concerned when I was a young adult that the genetics would not play in my favor, but something skipped and I have more than he did at my age.

When my grandfather was a young man, his hair was so thick they called him, “cabbage head.” In today’s terms that would be considered weird, but back then I guess they had yet to experience the internet and other ways to be make fun of people. (A good thing.) Although he lost his hair, the reference continued and was shortened to “Cab.” It stuck to the day he died.

My grandmother, who we called “Dena,” was right there next to him. Although she passed away after he did, I am sure they are play Canasta or some other card game on a regular basis with their friends who also reside a few plots down. It’s kind of crazy to think about where we live when we’re alive and then often stay in the same ‘hood when we pass on.

There is one stone in the cemetery I have looked for a number of times when I have visited but have yet to find. The writing reflects the man’s love of gambling. With a sense of humor and understanding, it reads, “I’d rather be in Vegas!” That to me is funny and permanent.

As we move from one year to the next, and having had my Dad pass away this year, it’s a time for me to reflect again on how much they gave me—and what I intend to pass on when it’s my turn. My parents were married for nearly 60 years. In today’s times, when people get married, Vegas would lay odds against this happening. I am so glad they beat those odds. (Perhaps the man who would “Rather be in Vegas” would take the bet—nice to know he would lose.)

The photo above is part of a Jewish tradition. When you visit a loved one, or friend, you leave a stone letting them know you were there. Thankfully I only need a few stones when I visit, but I know there will be a time when a small bag will be in my hand. I just hope it’s a long ways off.

Thanks for stopping by.