Growing up.

"I stood stone-like at midnight, suspended in my masquerade

I combed my hair till it was just right and commanded the night brigade

I was open to pain and crossed by the rain and I walked on a crooked crutch

I strolled all alone through a fallout zone and come out with my soul untouched

I hid in the clouded wrath of the crowd, but when they said, "Sit down," I stood up

Ooh... growin' up."'

I wouldn't be truthful if I claimed to be fully grown up. I am more mature than say when I was 16, but as far as 20-plus, I am not sure. I guess I would have to ask those who know me—maybe I don't want to know.

In many ways I am sure it's hard for us to believe that with each day that passes, we have gotten older. Sure it's no surprise, but when you look at the photos that were taken just a few short years ago, the changes become evident by the face you see staring back at you. But then again, what choice do we have?

Sometimes I wonder if I really look that different because even though I know I am getting older, for some reason the thoughts that race through my mind are really not always that of someone my age. Nothing that I am ashamed of, it's just the wonderment of whether or not this is something other guys my age think about? I am not going to ask—I will continue to wonder. 

For me it drifts back to when I was much younger and thoughts of whether or not the rocket I was building was actually going to fly? Or what would it be like to be a professional hockey goalie? How was this made/created? Things I don't really care about any longer, but still think about. Is this normal? For most people probably not, for me…umm…perhaps.

This past weekend, when my family was out of town, I went to see a movie called, "Boyhood." It really didn't feel like it was me on the screen…not like "The Wonder Years"…but more an amazement of how these characters really did age on the screen. No make up, no padding, this was them…it took 12 years to film the movie and it was well worth the time. The boy in the movie was probably around 6 or 7 when we first met him…as he experienced more and more…we were taken on his journey. It was a joy and painful to watch; men came in and out of his life, he was left to fend for himself when his Mom was either at work or "standing" by the men she chose as her husband(s.)

It made me realize how lucky I was on the one hand that I have my Dad and had my Mom, and how difficult it must be for the children when families split apart. I can say I have tried, and loved, and every other word I can think of—but it's not about me, it's about the kids who depend on some form of structure and consistency in their lives. 

Life is certainly not always perfect, but there are so many aspects that are really important to keep everything in perspective. For me, I have found writing "Snap.Snot." as a way of bringing out life as I have lived it. Not unlike many others, just as I know it.

The photo above is of my nephew Gavin; he is living with us this summer. He has been posed with hurdles in his young life, but he continues to jump above whatever has been dealt—it's what makes being a child so special or for Gavin, part of his boyhood.

Thanks for stopping by.