Letting my mind wander.

“I can't wait to show you where I grew up

Walk you 'round the foothills of my town

Probably feel like you've been there before

After hearing all the stories I've been telling you

For six months now.”

With where we are in our lives right now, heading back in time would be a welcome gift of knowledge and preparedness. Just the ability to anticipate would be more than a feeling of science fiction and more of a reality check. (If you are reading this in the future, we are in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic.) 

Growing up in St. Louis all those years ago, I remember introducing friends and others to my life. I wanted them to be excited about it, some were, most weren’t. I mean it was my life, not theirs—but as I look back on those times, they were ones that made me who I am. 

Going back and thinking about your life can bring memories of happiness and the days that really sucked. I would love to say that my life was one of continuous joy, but it wasn’t—-but all in all, I can look back as I approach another birthday, and know it could have been so much worse.

But what if? What if I could change some of the stories and make them better? Would I do it? Of course I would, who wouldn’t?

It might be the first girl I ever asked out; she gave me the equivalent of needing to wash her hair as an excuse (she actually was going to a St. Louis Blues hockey game—-the same reason I asked her to go out) but even though I “suddenly” came down with a bad illness for the next two days and missed school, I made it back and lived to tell. But I never had the guts to talk to her again.

Would I change that? No, because it's part of who I am. 

There is one area of my life I would change. I would want to know more about my roots. What makes me who I am today. My grandparents were around as I was growing up, but we never got into deep discussions as I believe that was not part of the normal conversation of the day. I do know some information about my family, but not enough to feel I had a grasp on what they went through as they immigrated to America to start their new lives. I know I can find out through sources such as Ancestry.com, but that’s not the same as being told by an elder.

I do believe in time travel, and I know the easiest way to do it. Often when I walk I’ll let my mind take me back in time, into the future and even spend a few moments, if needed, on what’s happening right then and now. It’s what I need to feel whole and for me it’s a way to visit those I have loved, lost  and  keep deep in my heart. 

The photo above was taken in a New York subway station. Although I didn’t grow up there, it reminds me that no matter what I do, or where I go, I will always have the memories to take with me and allow me to travel anywhere my mind wants to take me.

Thanks for stopping by.