Letting my mind wander.

“I can't wait to show you where I grew up

Walk you 'round the foothills of my town

Probably feel like you've been there before

After hearing all the stories I've been telling you

For six months now.”

With where we are in our lives right now, heading back in time would be a welcome gift of knowledge and preparedness. Just the ability to anticipate would be more than a feeling of science fiction and more of a reality check. (If you are reading this in the future, we are in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic.) 

Growing up in St. Louis all those years ago, I remember introducing friends and others to my life. I wanted them to be excited about it, some were, most weren’t. I mean it was my life, not theirs—but as I look back on those times, they were ones that made me who I am. 

Going back and thinking about your life can bring memories of happiness and the days that really sucked. I would love to say that my life was one of continuous joy, but it wasn’t—-but all in all, I can look back as I approach another birthday, and know it could have been so much worse.

But what if? What if I could change some of the stories and make them better? Would I do it? Of course I would, who wouldn’t?

It might be the first girl I ever asked out; she gave me the equivalent of needing to wash her hair as an excuse (she actually was going to a St. Louis Blues hockey game—-the same reason I asked her to go out) but even though I “suddenly” came down with a bad illness for the next two days and missed school, I made it back and lived to tell. But I never had the guts to talk to her again.

Would I change that? No, because it's part of who I am. 

There is one area of my life I would change. I would want to know more about my roots. What makes me who I am today. My grandparents were around as I was growing up, but we never got into deep discussions as I believe that was not part of the normal conversation of the day. I do know some information about my family, but not enough to feel I had a grasp on what they went through as they immigrated to America to start their new lives. I know I can find out through sources such as Ancestry.com, but that’s not the same as being told by an elder.

I do believe in time travel, and I know the easiest way to do it. Often when I walk I’ll let my mind take me back in time, into the future and even spend a few moments, if needed, on what’s happening right then and now. It’s what I need to feel whole and for me it’s a way to visit those I have loved, lost  and  keep deep in my heart. 

The photo above was taken in a New York subway station. Although I didn’t grow up there, it reminds me that no matter what I do, or where I go, I will always have the memories to take with me and allow me to travel anywhere my mind wants to take me.

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A Football Life.

“They didn't let just anybody in that club

Took every ounce of heart and sweat and blood

To get to wear those game-day jerseys down the hall

The kings of the school, man, we’re the boys of fall.”

Anyone who has followed my sports career knows it never existed; if there could have been a worse athlete, I would like to meet them and compare notes. Just like the movie Airplane, when Elaine is asked for “something light to read?” and replies “Uhh...how about this leaflet, Famous Jewish Sports Legends?” That was in reference to me. Check that I wouldn’t even make a fortune cookie.

But I did like sports a lot, and as I have gotten older, I recognize how gifted these humans truly are at their crafts.

But there’s another side to the story. It’s the athletes and families that devote so much of their lives to the sport, only to see them end one day. When it does, whether it’s pop warner, the minors or professional leagues---when it’s over, there is a huge void in their lives. Often times before they are prepared.

Many years ago I was fortunate to attend two different sales meetings where I met professional athletes. One was a speaker at a conference, the other at a bar where many of us were hanging out; both showed a side of life that left a big impression as this was easily 25 years ago. They had been at the top, and after the lights dimmed down….looked for what was next in their lives. 

The first was a meeting where Jim Plunkett, who rose to fame as the quarterback of the Oakland Raiders, spoke to our group. Afterward, I saw him walking to the lunch area we where we were to meet—-he was alone. I was actually shocked, so I walked up, introduced myself and for probably 15 minutes we talked; not about football, but about the time he left the field for the last time. I think he was surprised by the conversation---I know I was. We just kept talking until we ended up at the location where lunch was  to take place and shook hands. I was very honored he spoke with me, and happy he didn’t ask about my sports career!

The second person I met was Ron Greschner who played for the New York Rangers for many years. It happened at a bar where one of my “less-than-intelligent” associates, decided to get into an altercation with his personal body guard. Not that he needed one, I assume ihe was someone who was there to stop people from bothering him. Like me. Ironically.  I had no idea who he was, but I knew his former wife had been in one of the models in a Sports Illustrated Swim Suit edition. We didn’t talk about her if that’s where your mind was going---we talked about finance and investing. Specially about stocks and the market.  He was very well versed on the topic, and as I was leaving, I asked if he would sign a card, for my son. He said, “Give me his name and your address and I will send it to him.” By the time I arrived home a few days later, it was there. How cool is that?  You’re probably wondering about my associate? I don’t remember his name, but I do recall he was lucky to have lived through the evening.

The photo above is from the Iowa State v.Oklahoma game a few years back in Ames, IA. Knowing I was going to be lucky to be on the sidelines, I asked a friend which players I should be watching? There was only one name that kept coming up…his name was Baker Mayfield and he was quarterback for the Sooners. I also learned he was up for the Heisman Trophy which he won that year. That night, I was just a picture taker among many on the sidelines, but as I left the field at the end of the game--I realized this was my football life.

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There's a rainbow above us.

“Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

And the dreams that you dream of

Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly

And the dreams that you dream of

Dreams really do come true.”

I was not planning to start “Snap.Shot.” again, but now with time on my hands and thoughts in my head, it just seems like something I would like to do. If you would like to come back for the ride, feel free to do so, if not I certainly understand. But I am hoping you do.

We are in a time unlike anything we most likely have ever experienced; we’ve lived through 9/11, storms, floods, and fires (and of course, H1N1, Sara and others) but nothing like we have going on in our lives at this time. If this is the only time we have to do this, I am just fine with it.  Just as long as we can all make it through to the other side. 

Although it was nearly 20 years ago, the morning of September 11, 2001 was a day that stopped our nation and the world. The difference, if there was one, is we didn’t see it coming; it came and we responded. With the Coronavirus we were aware of it being out there, and had waited for it to make its way to the states. Either way, it is a very alarming situation and whereas we will work through it, it’s the unknown that has completely turned our world upside down.

Let’s turn this upside down and make it more optimistic. I think we need it right now.

After every storm, there is often something that comes after that is positive. Whether it’s neighbors coming together, friends and family reaching out, or just the world coming into view—-we will find the good from a bad situation. 

In one of my previous jobs, the company came up with a concept of helping those in need. Think about this. A catastrophe hits, homes are destroyed, people are displaced, and as the skies clear—-thousands of families need the basic necessities. In this case it was to have clean clothes to bring a slice of normalcy back into their lives. 

The area hit was hot, muggy and filthy from a massive hurricane. The idea that was brought to market quickly, “Loads of Hope” by Tide laundry detergent. It was an incredible response that took a decimated area and helped bring it back to life; although only one component to getting back on their feet, they had clean clothes and they were THEIR clothes. We all know how important that critical step is and Tide delivered it to them.

The photo above is more than it appears. Recently I was in Arizona and after attending a spring training game, the Cubs versus the Angels, I headed from Mesa down to Tucson. About 45 minutes from my destination I saw it on the horizon. At first I was not sure, then as I got closer and closer I witnessed one of the most vibrant rainbows I had ever seen. Moving closer, it got bigger and bigger. I was hoping for a pot of gold when I pulled over to take a picture, but all I got was an incredible image. For me, that’s even more valuable. (Unless there really was a pot of gold, and then I would have taken that instead.)

We are in a time that we really don’t want to be in. There is little we can do except do what we are asked to do; we need to stay indoors, away from people, and be extremely careful of spreading this virus accidentally to those who are most susceptible to catching it. But let’s remember the Wizard of Oz…behind the curtain is the real story, and once we know it, we will be able to look back and see that over the rainbow are better days.

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Brothers.

“They didn't let just anybody in that club

Took every ounce of heart and sweat and blood

to get to wear those game-day jerseys down the hall

The kings of the school, man, we're the boys of fall”

If you had told me 37 years ago, I would be writing about 30 fraternity brothers getting together to spend a long weekend together, I would have gone to Vegas to bet against it happening. 

I would have lost.

This past week(end) magic happened when members of AE PI fraternity, who graduated from the University of Missouri decades earlier, came together for the same reasons—to reconnect, laugh, and prove that even after all these years, we can continue the same conversations from long ago. We laughed, cried, and hugged—even though for many of us we had struggle to get off the couch to do so—but we really did hug. Okay, it was a “bro-hug,” but you can be sure back in the late 70s, hugging would rank very high on the list of things that guys did NOT do! Wow, how far we have come!

This is not the first reunion we have had since graduating, it was however the most attended. We all met up in Vail, CO and stayed at the home, and surrounding rented homes, of one of our “brothers” who lives there—I know, I wouldn’t  trust us either, but that’s not Steve Lasky, he is much nicer than all of us and truly loves us. 

In fact, Steve is probably the kindest, most loving, human being, you will ever meet; when he was in college he was known as “Muhammad”—due to his love of Muhammad Ali—and whereas I am sure he was just as nice, I am not sure I would have given him a bro-hug out of fear of getting decked.

Move forward to last Wednesday…

There I was on my way to Denver, “traveling back” all those years to think about who I was about to see, what I remembered about them, and what the heck do you say to someone after all those years? Turns out it was easy, we were all “frat brothers” and we had life experiences to catch up on—darn it!

Everyone looked good—sure there were a few extra pounds, glasses/contacts on most, and for some, the expression of letting your hair down took on a different meaning, however, for these 92+ hours together, we all wished it would last much longer. I can say with absolute certainty, the emails flying back and forth today were at warp speed and were all about how we need to stay in contact and get together much sooner than (gulp) 37 years!

The photo above was taken in Vail Village; although these are just a few of the guys at the reunion, it reminded me that when you’re an 18-year old kid, moving into a house that would should be condemned, these are not just guys…they’re your trusted confidants, back-watchers, and most important—life-long brothers. 

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Somethings are best said.

“Someday when we're dreaming, 

Deep in love, not a lot to say. 

Then we will try to remember 

The things we said today.”

Guys supposedly don’t listen. Okay, sometimes we don’t. Sue us.

But when we do, and when we think about what has been said between two people, we can be a lot deeper than most would suspect. I am not sure if it’s because it’s summer, or that it’s no longer winter up here in the Midwest, for some reason it does bring out long lost deep memories. I love going back in time; I am not sure if it’s because I know the outcome, wish I could change it, or just want to re-live it, but it brings about feelings that really make me feel whole again.

Whoa, and you thought we couldn’t go beyond the surface.

This coming weekend I will be getting together with my oldest friend; he’s actually slightly younger than I am, but he’s a person I have known (and kept in contact with) for the vast majority of my life. He gets me and vice-versa. He knows me because he has been there during the good times, rough times, and in between. 

It doesn’t take long for us to remember all the mischievous things we did together. Many of them were trivial, however many of them were just downright wrong. As a homeowner, I would be furious if I encountered what we did to friends and non-friend’s homes. (Eggs and toilet paper were a lot cheaper back then—-we knew it and took advantage of it.) 

But this coming weekend, we will likely be talking about his upcoming change in life. He is recently engaged; I was one of the early people to find out—-and I suspect we will talk about what life has in store for him including, taking on the role of a step-father, being married again,  and how the hell we both decided to do it all again after our first marriages went kaput?

What I am looking forward to the most is laughing and looking back on how far we have come (or have we?) and what we said, and experienced, all those years ago. We know the phrases, lines and meanings behind all these “ridiculous memories”—only we do, no one else would understand nor do we want them to. That’s what makes this friendship special—-by the way, my kids call him my “immature” friend and say the same about me! (Wise kids.)

I love this time of the year. With many summers behind me, I have a lot of thoughts to reflect on as I lie in bed, walk to work, or drive around town—I do not, however, recommend going to deep in thought when you are in traffic. It’s much better for lone highway trips when you can leave the world behind and  come back suddenly should a deer cross your path. Yes, it’s happened.

The photo above was taken a few months ago. I don’t remember how long its been, but many years ago I read the book, “Jonathan Livingston Seagull.” What I remember most from this book, and others that were written by the same author, were the words that told me it was perfectly fine to soar and reflect. Something I am sure we all want to do at times…it’s when we come to Earth, and feel the warmth of these memories when you realize you need to keep them as close to your heart as possible.

Thanks for stopping by.

All those years ago.

"Fat man sitting on a little stool,
Takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you.
Hands me the ticket, smiles and whispers good luck,
Cuddle up angel, cuddle up my little dove
We'll ride down, baby, into this tunnel of love."

Something happened yesterday that made me think about when I went to 6-Flags outside of St. Louis, Missouri many, many years ago. It was probably when I hit the ripe age of 15, when my friends and I went there for a few reasons in no particular order; we went to spend a summer day amongst thousands of people, enjoy the rides, joke around, do pranks on one another, and meet girls. (This was long before smart phones or any of the new ways to connect with "anyone" from nearby or cross country were available.)

By the way, I was joking about it being in no particular order. I am sure you can figure out our reason for going and it was not to spend a day in the blistering heat of a St. Louis summer.

Fifteen was kind of a magical age for me. It was a time when I had lost weight, grew, and learned more about the opposite sex; I didn't know much, but thanks to my friends I learned more about it through their personal "supposed adventures." (I believe their knowledge came through older siblings who learned it through older siblings--in other words, we were all pretty naive and trusting  information we had no idea was true or not.)

As I prepared for writing this blog, I had to go far back and think about those days; I mean "very far back." It was fun to do, but also a bit scary as I still really don't understand a lot about the opposite sex. I should by now, but everyday I am reminded that if I believe I have an inkling of what's going on in their heads, I am wrong.
 

So there we were, and again this was a time when I had gone from a "husky" kid to a developing juvenile who had grown 5 inches in one year. With my confidence not at the level of my rising height, one of my friends started a conversation with a small group of girls. There were probably 5 of us, and 4 of them---in other words, if anything was going to move forward, one of us was going to feel left out. Back then it was a lot different than today when kids go out in groups, back then we would hold hands and with no phones to check, we actually paid attention to one another. I know, it's really hard to believe.

I don't remember the exact details, but I was number 4 and not the one left out; I'm sure it was a close call. I went on a ride with this new found friend by my side and I actually put my arm around her.! Whoa. It was when we got off the ride it was reconfirmed how little I knew about the other side---my friends had much better stories to tell.
 

So, here we are, all these years later, and my daughter who was pretty much my age when I went with friends to 6-Flags outside Chicago, did the same. I started to think (a very bad idea by the way) about why I went to with my friends. Thankfully, and I know this is true because our older daughter went with them, that any concerns were completely unwarranted. Whew.

The photo above was taken at our local carnival--there was no "fat man sitting on a little stool" but you can bet for sure, the next time she goes to 6-Flags, someone is coming along. The fat man known as "Dad."

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Life as we experience it.

“Found my heart and broke it here

Made friends and lost them through the years

And I've not seen the roaring fields in so long, I know I've grown

But I can't wait to go home.”

Going home is not what it once was; there used to be a time, not that long ago, where I could travel approximately 300 miles, drive down the drive way and walk in the back door. Those days are past me now as the home is no longer in our family and my parents now live in a cemetery 4 miles away. 

But I have found new ways to go back. 

As I approach 60 years of age, I still have to wonder how I got here? Where did the days of summer go? What days lie ahead? I don't think I will know until I get there, but I am getting caught up on some people’s lives.

This summer we are having a reunion of sorts in Colorado with a number of fraternity brothers; we have done this in the past, the last time was 2 years ago, this year more people will be showing up. Fortunately we have not lost anyone, but there have been spouses who have passed away. In other words, we are getting down to “it’s now or never.” Before this event however, I am going to visit with my best friend from high school. We have known each other obviously a long time and whereas I would like to say we have changed when we see one another, I can’t. We refuse to grow up. At least for the 72 or so hours when we see each other. 

Sure our lives have changed; we have both been married and seen them dissolve, we have experienced the pain of losing our mother’s to the same disgusting disease and have both have had many people come into our lives—-but we still can continue our conversation right where it left off. Might be years, months or weeks—but we remain connected.

Recently I have reconnected with others of who have not been in my life (or thoughts) for decades. That’s not meant to be a mean statement, it’s reality of what happens when life moves forward. Looking back is always interesting, it’s also a time to wonder about how much we have changed. Whether it’s looking back at photos from long ago, recalling our dreams and where we have landed or just saying, “to hell with it” I am who I am and I am going to deal with it!

The photo above was taken at our local carnival last month; it’s a yearly tradition I attend with my kids and always have my camera in hand. I love the lights, action and experience of being there. This year they had a ride that had captured my attention last year—but I never realized its name until this year. Just like life’s journey, this ride has two directions you can take…you can either deal with it, or…

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