Seventeen.

“When you think about me

Do you think about 17

Do you think about my old Jeep

Think about the stars in the sky

Funny how a melody sounds like a memory

Like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night.”

I am not sure how it happens, but every time I cross the Illinois border and inch across the Missouri line, memories of growing up in St. Louis come flooding back. There are so many that at times I wish I could write them down; thanks to my new iphone 4s, and "Siri," she helps keep me on track. For those of you who don’t know Siri, she is the person on my iphone (she calls me by name so she must be real, right?) she answers all the questions I have.

This past weekend was an eye-opener. My Dad is having real back problems---not as bad as I had envisioned--but compared to 7 weeks ago when I last saw him, it certainly brought life back into perspective and how fragile it can be.

Today’s “Snap. Shot.” is not about my Dad and his back problem, I would like to write about my memories of growing up in my hometown.  I assure you, I will be writing about my Dad very soon---he is worth every word I would ever write on “Snap. Shot.”

St. Louis was living up to its reputation of being hot and humid; a little early for this time of the year of what I recall, but once I stepped outside from the cool home I grew up in, it came roaring back. It was hot and humid.

After I hit 16, I was mobile. I went out with my friends, and we learned a lot about the surrounding communities that made up West County. I still love to drive down Olive Street Road and remember what restaurants, retailers, and buildings were there, what has been replaced, and what will be there the next time. It is always changing.

This past visit, I drove a little further than normal. I went to the location of the house where I was born, and for fun, drove past where one of my old girlfriends lived. It brought back many memories as you might guess---it also let me know I am still the same person deep inside, just with a lot of etchings written all over my mind, body and soul.

When you are a teenager, at least for me, there are so many new experiences that become lodged deep inside as you move toward adulthood. Probably the best way to bring them out of hibernation, at least for me, is to turn the dial on the radio and travel down the road toward yesterday. I did that and it was just great. I remembered what it was like hanging out with my best friends, driving the back roads, and even some of the dates I went on.

There was one very special person, I drove by her house, that brought back some very deep memories of growing up my senior year in high school. These are only memories, are in the past, so I felt okay with letting my mind and thoughts go there; they were innocent reminders of the times that molded me. I think we all are allowed to go back---as long as we know we are traveling with our minds and nothing else.

I will likely be spending more time in St. Louis in the next few months---my Dad is going through some challenging times. I know how important these soon to be memories are---I look forward to sharing with anyone who wants to read about it.

The photo above has been in “Snap. Shot.” I am fine with it because when it comes to making imprints on your life, the sand is probably the greatest reminder of how quickly things change. All it takes is one large wave, and the reality is gone---but the memories do remain.

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Getting back on track.

"I got a strong back, steel toes

I rarely call in sick, a good truck
What I don't know I catch on real quick
I work weekends, if I have to, nights and holidays."

We live in some very interesting times. I was not around when America, and the world, were experiencing the “Great Depression,” but I suspect what we are witnessing today is different in many ways, and reminiscent in others.

Living in a large city I have seen the pain and the agony of those in need; I have also seen it in small town America. Drive on Main Street and you will witness the shell of what was once a thriving part of the community—walk down Michigan Avenue in Chicago and you can read people’s minds as they wonder, “How does this place stay open or Where did that one go” (We have some luxury jewelers, art dealers and other very high-end retailers who must be selling their goods to someone. Not me.)

These past 4-plus years have taught me a lot about how vulnerable America is to other countries. I am all for a global economy because one way or the other, we need them, they need us, we need each other. But the amount of spending needed to make the engine run is the real problem ---I know our family has had to decide, “Do we need this? Can we live without that? Is there a way to find it for less money?” That type of thinking has helped our family, but based on the way I used to think, it has killed the economy.

Yesterday I was talking with a neighbor who had just purchased a new lawn mower. His old one had finally chopped its last blade of grass after 18 years of usage. Not bad. He said, “Mark, I thought about you when I got home after purchasing this mower.” If he thought I was going to cut his lawn, he knew the answer as mine needed cutting more than his did. But his thoughts centered on conversations we have had about how the in consistencies of prices.

He found the receipt for his old lawn mower, and the one from 1994 was nearly twice as much as his new one; he knows I like to find a good deal for things I don’t have as much passion for---lawn mowers would qualify, photographic equipment would not. (I will pay for the best cameras and lenses. So of course he wanted to tell me.)

I told him about a story I had read in the Wall Street Journal the day before; it was all about how TV manufacturers and retailers have hurt their businesses by slashing prices. A retailer here in Chicago was quoted as saying, “We sell TV’s for $2,000 and our profit is $10.00.” Whereas it sounds great to we consumers, it is actually horrible. We are hurting technology, the American business, and our way of life. We have to be fair to all---not just one side of the equation. I am not suggesting we pay $4000 for a TV, I am just wondering how retailers will be able to get out of this situation? I fear they have dug their own deep hole and the light to get out is insurmountable.

If you are not aware this is an election year, you will be come the late summer and fall. We will either elect a new president or have 4 more years of our current one; that is the choice of the American people. What I hope is, that whomever is elected has a focus to get America back on track---have the vision to make us great again---because at the end of the day we need to believe and have confidence this is the greatest country on Earth. I believe it.

The photo above was taken at the recent NATO Conference here in Chicago; okay, I was hoping for much more action than we had in the city but in many respects I am glad it didn’t happen. The thought of capturing a melee or riot was a once in a lifetime opportunity and one I would have loved to capture on my trusty Nikon---I am happy to report, when it was all over, we acted like adults.

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Life behind the lens.

"Kodachrome

They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's
a sunny day
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away."

As we enter the season where cameras start coming out of their dusty homes, I get questions about shooting outdoor events. The other day I was walking with a neighbor who asked me about his camera and why certain lenses didn’t work on it. I don’t know a lot about cameras, just Nikons, but I did know the answer right when he was asking it. His response, “I read it on line but didn’t believe it…I guess it is true.” It is, was, and will continue to be; it was one of the ways Nikon tried to offer a low-cost camera and the consumer paid for it.

It was about 10 years ago when the camera bug took a big bite out of me. I had dabbled for many years, but once I started taking more pictures I couldn’t stop. I took pictures of everything; yes I even took a picture of someone taking a picture of me at the same time, water pitchers and exit signs.

Probably the most interesting times began to evolve when I began to wonder, “Could I actually get someone to buy a photo?” Early on the answer was, “No” and it continued for a long time. 

Then it happened, someone actually paid for a photo I had taken. Not a lot, but enough to cover the cost. I didn’t care---I was totally hooked on becoming an even better photographer. Then I began to really test myself.  I asked myself, “What do the pros do? What made them pros?” I am still working on the answer, but I have been able to understand a little bit more.

One point of differentiation has to do with finding a way to see the world differently through a lens.

One of the best purchases I made was a book featuring photographers who shoot for Sports Illustrated. What they did was what I wanted to do; they just do it a lot better. They found moments that captured an interaction between a coach and a player, stood away from the other photographers when they shot, and lastly---remembered that no matter how hard they prepared, if the player didn’t catch the ball, slap the puck, or do whatever they have spent years doing, you miss the photo. I think about it every time I shoot.

Probably the biggest impression left upon me were the angles they shot from; it could be below the player on the ground shooting upward, above them, sideways, or just about anything--- but rarely straight on. The results…well, that’s why they shoot for Sports Illustrated.

The photo above was taken recently at my daughter’s soccer game. Most people would think something was wrong with the photo as it is heavily slanted; but to me it has an edge, a feeling of movement, and something that just makes me want to take more like it. Would any parent ever want to buy it? No, and one reason is…it’s not for sale. I give all of the photos I take to the team families; as I see it, as long as I don’t have to coach, I am well ahead of the game.

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Summer.

“Summer, it turns me upside down

Summer, summer, summer

It's like a merry-go-round.”

A lot has changed since I was a kid; but some things have moved forward with the times. Recently, with the weather remaining somewhat consistent up here in the north, as in warm, we now see lawn clipping bags ready to be picked up, neighbors who we have not seen in several months, and newly formed businesses popping up all over town.

I am not a huge garage sale shopper but thanks to my sister and a woman named Vivian Maier, I do pay attention and occasionally stop. Very rarely, but still occasionally. My sister has been discussed in “Snap.Shot.” but I am not sure about Vivian Maier. If you are not familiar with her story, she was a nanny on the North Shore of Chicago who was also a “street photographer.” Few, if any, of her subjects knew their photo was being taken, and no one it seems knew she even took photos. She took hundreds of thousands of them and no one had any idea---yet if you saw them, which you can---they are incredible. They have published several books highlighting her photos.

The way Vivian Maier’s work was discovered occurred when her storage locker was purchased at an auction. She had passed away, no one had paid the bill, and the rest as they say is “her-story.” She captured emotion, the times, and best of all…snap shots that the normal photographer would not have been able to shoot because people would have known their picture was being taken. Big difference.

Now, as I see more and more garage and estate sales around, I do stop by because you never know when you are going to find that hidden gem. The one that countless people have walked past and you stop and say, “I don’t believe it.” I am still waiting for the, “I don’t believe it” moment as I usually walk out empty handed---but you never know.

The photo above was taken on our lawn. Two of my daughters and a friend decided to set up a smoothie stand. Forget lemonade, this is big business here. Although they didn’t have many customers, they found ways to occupy the downtime. My iphone and many of its apps. I can’t wait to see what their kids find one day when they are rummaging around in garage and estate sales---I doubt it will be photos from “Snap. Shot.” maybe a sign with words misspelled and memories of the times we live in.

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Mom(s).

"She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you."

Being a Mom, or a Dad, has its good and bad moments; we are rarely seen as being correct in the eyes of our children, but we really do our best. I am told they figure out our level of intelligence when they become Mom's and Dad's. 

My wife has heard it all from our kids; she has heard about love, heartbreak, not understanding how they really feel and much more---somehow when it all comes together, she understands and empathizes. She is much better than I am when it comes to keeping her composure---much better. She was born to be a Mom, in fact she is excellent at it. if you have ever seen our daughters, you can also see her genes have taken a real foothold on their looks and actions. It's only our youngest who has dark hair and eyes who only looks different, but I suspect one day she will color her hair red and wear blue contacts and be just like the rest of them. 

I have been lucky to have known very good women who have taken on the role of Mom; yes my wife is very good, and my Mom---well she was not too shabby either. I remember many times when I would talk to my Mom about difficult topics and she not only understood, she gave really good advice. I will never forget when I was in my late teens, a girlfriend and I had broken up. Although it was mutual, it really wasn't, I tried to act like I was okay; actually, my heart was more than dented, it was punctured and bleeding. My Mom took me aside, I will never forget, and said..."Mark, you will be fine--it will hurt for some time, but you will know in the end that all will work its way out." I still treasure that conversation---even today.

Whereas I am not a Mom, you can be sure of that, I did have to take on the parental role my Mom taught me all those years ago just today. One of my daughters broke up with her boyfriend; I would face certain expulsion if I let on why it happened, but I can say she really acted as an adult. I was really proud. She said she was really in pain, and I said, "If you cared as much as you did about him, you should be in pain. But you will find in the end, the pain will go away, you will grow, and one day you will look back and be very proud of the difficult decision you made."

As a Dad we do try, but there's a reason why Mother's Day became a national holiday more than 55 years before Father's Day. I have thought a lot about my Mom today, and I am sure I am not alone, we miss her very much. I am really very fortunate to have been influenced by wonderful women in my life. I better accept it, I have many of them to deal with in the future! (Dad, in June, you will be the main topic. Promise.)

The photo above was taken at the last game of the Chicago Bull's regular season. It must have been a sign as the game was in late April and the Bulls would not be playing on Mother's Day as they were eliminated from the playoffs in the first round.

Thanks for stopping by.

Connection.

"Stretching over mountains

Across the sea

Every star lights the path to you from me

Under deserts

Through the barren plains

Connecting you to me again"

There is an old commercial with the tagline, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” Whereas it was for the United Negro College Fund, it’s meaning can really not be conveyed in 30 seconds of sight, sound, and motion.

We are truly blessed to have the ability to think, process and understand very simple and complicated information; I assume it’s one of the reasons we, as a society, have grown to where we are today and where we will be tomorrow.

Okay, enough of the deep thinking, it’s giving me a headache.

Today’s “Snap. Shot.” is all about connecting, and re-connecting, with people you know well, barely know, or in some cases you don’t know if you know them at all.

For the past few years I have entered a lot of words onto a computer screen; at first, I was not sure if anyone read, “Snap. Shot.” so I told a couple of people about it. If they liked something that had been written, or were touched in a certain way, they would forward it to friends. I was flat out stunned. I was connecting with people who would actually spend time reading what I had written.

Then I started getting notes and comments from people letting me know they either enjoyed what I had written or they had been through a similar experience. There is little doubt the entries about my Mom, and her fight with brain cancer, received the most feedback. At first I was not sure being as upfront and personal was a good idea, but then again, there was a choice to read it or not read it. I am glad some have continued.

Yesterday I received a note from an anonymous reader; I completely understand not wanting to place your name where everyone wants to know who you are and what you are writing…it is scary. I should know, I do it.

But, if you are open to it, I would like to know who you are. Just you and me, you can send me an e-mail, and I will NEVER divulge who has written to me. Your notes, and I assume you are the same person writing on a fairly frequent basis, have given me the desire to keep writing “Snap. Shot.” after I had decided to stop after one year of writing. (My e-mail address is mrosenbaum123@gmail.com)

In life we connect with many different people; some are close, some are hundreds if not thousands of miles away, but in the end “A mind is truly a terrible thing to waste” and fortunately we can use our to make life better.

The photo above was taken at a recent family photo session; this little girl has been photographed every time she comes in town to visit her grandparents---they live across the street from us. Recently, when she was in town, she was so animated and “into the moment;” I know for certain she has no idea who I am but for some crazy reason, she let me into her little growing world and allowed me to connect with her. Thank you Claire.

Thanks for stopping by.

Life.

“Believe it or not,

I'm walking on air.

I never thought I could feel so free.

Flying away on a wing and a prayer.

Who could it be?

Believe it or not it's just me.”

Life is funny. No I didn’t originate this line or thinking, but we have all experienced how change can make you wonder, “What the heck is going on here?” Good or bad, change does keep you on your toes, stays front of mind, and makes life a lot more exciting than what I expect a dog, cat or bird experience in their lifetimes. (I have no idea where that comparison came from---perhaps it’s too much of watching our dog lay around and sleep.)

Looking back on the last few years I feel I have become the master of change---not all good---but change, where it rarely ever seemed to occur in my life during my 30s, seems to be a weekly---if not daily---occurrence. For some time I have been looking forward to getting off this roller coaster; but no matter how hard you wish, if it is going to happen, it’s going to happen--- you really have little control.

These past few weeks, one of the reasons you have not seen “Snap.Shot.” on a daily basis, has been because it has been completely over the top crazy. I won’t go into specifics but if life could have done a complete 180, 360 (by the way, doing a 360 means we have come back to our starting point) it has and did. We have seen financial changes, health issues, and everything in between.

This is not a ploy for sympathy or prayers, when I felt I was in the depth of hell, something happened. It turned out to be more than I could have expected---I felt the clouds starting to part and the sun start to make its long awaited appearance. Whether it’s an illusion or reality, it’s not something I have felt in a long time and I am not sure to doubt or accept it. I have chosen to accept it and ride it for as long as I can. Period.

The photo above was taken recently at the Art Museum in Chicago. What I like about this photo is its simplicity and reflection on who we are; we see a part of us every day in everything we do, but in the end what we see is not always who we truly are. We change, we accept, we fight what we don’t like---but in the end, I guess the best way to express it is,  “Believe it or not it’s just me.”

Thanks for stopping by.