Readers.

"Stuck at a red light outside an adult bookstore

He said, 'Daddy, what are all those xxx's for?'"

Over the past several months, my youngest daughter has gone from knowing her letters to reading books with me, and better yet---reading the various names of retailers at the mall. Hmmm…”Wonder how she picked that up?” Bet it has something to do with 4 sisters.

It has always amazed me how kids go from being so dependent on every aspect of their life to being able to say tactfully, “Leave me alone I don’t need your help.” Wow, being a parent is so gratifying. Actually it is.

My youngest daughters and I read together; sometimes I have them read every other page, sometimes I make them read several in a row, and other times it’s all me. It becomes funny when I am really tired and continue reading as I have fallen asleep on the bed. I will hear, “Dad, keep reading you’re sleeping.” I then know whatever gibberish I was blurting out made no sense.

Our first grader has the same homework our other daughters had at her age; the one we all enjoy is a sheet where you have to take scrambled letters and make words out of them. Then you have to guess the word the letters make up—aka “the mystery word.” Usually it’s pretty easy, however two weeks ago, for some reason, we could not figure it out. What did we do? My wife Susan put all the letters in to a decoder on the computer and voila, there was the word. Ah the wonders of technology.

I wish I read more; I am in the middle of the autobiography of Steve Jobs but my pace is very slow. I think I am still at the point where he has yet to form Apple. For anyone who has read the book, you know I have a long way to go.

The photo above was taken at my daughter Audrey’s birthday dinner. I just think it is so cool that she can read her card and figure out how funny her Dad is---or in this case, isn’t. I am told I buy goofy cards.

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Making a left-hand turn.

“I've been a long time gone now

Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down

But I've always found my way somehow.”

When I was young I believed I would settle down, have the life I felt would propel me into a future of success, and just live. I took the road early on, and yes it put me on a path toward success, but then I made a left-hand turn off the highway and took a much different direction in life.

Do I regret it? Nope.

Yes there has been pain, and for sure uncertainty and fear, but there are many things I would never have done, learned, or encountered had I not veered off into another lane.

I think we all consider change; if not, I think life would be boring. Not that I would want change all the time, but the challenge of doing something that you have not done before, or at least for a long time, is refreshing and good for you…I think.

After the turn of the century my life changed…a lot. I for sure hurt people, and for that I am not proud. But then there is the side that says, “Where was I going?” By the way, I am not just talking about the demise of a marriage; it was much more than that. It involved the loss of friends by not staying in contact, not being sure there was interest in remaining in contact, and the belief that exploring would be good for growth. 

Yesterday I received a call out of the blue; someone I had not spoken with in nearly 3 years. Recently connections have been popping out of the woodwork…it all started with a strange dream I had about a week ago. Since then, wow.

Yesterday’s conversation provided 100% closure to a rough patch in my life. She was someone I worked with and when I said, “I was not sure if there was interest in staying in contact” she was more than open in saying, “Mark I waited for you to take the first step because I didn’t know how you felt about being contacted.” I let her know that I felt very good about the conversation we were having.

A lot has happened in the nearly 54 years of my life—so much is unexpected. Often I wish I knew the outcome so I could either prepare for it, or at least not be too surprised. It just doesn’t work that way I guess.

The photo above was taken a couple of years ago at the Chicago Air and Water show. No, that is not me flying the plane, it symbolizes—at least for me---that being the different one, and taking the path that is most interesting, is the one that best suits me. At least on the ground.

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Dream on.

“Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream until your dreams come true.”

Last week, for the first time in a while, I was having some really crazy dreams.

Dreams that I could not understand 100% completely, just that they were quite vivid and in some ways quite confusing.

The one where I woke up thinking, “what the heck was that all about?” involved a conversation with an old associate I worked with a few years back. He had the wonderful task of letting me know my job was gone; the funny thing about the moment was---I still really liked him with no ill feelings. Yes, it was creating a life change I had never experienced, but there was no way I could be upset with him.

Move ahead 3 years and I contacted him last week.

Why?

I had to tell him about this crazy dream I had; I said, “I just want you to know I rarely think about that moment when suddenly I was out of a job but I had a dream about you.” At the point when my job was in the past, my focus became helping my Mom and Dad deal with much worse news ---my Mom had brain cancer. In some ways it was a gift to spend more time with them, in other ways it was a very challenging time to get my life on track. I made it, she did not.

What really surprised me by the conversation with my former associate was, what he told me. He said, “Mark I still feel bad about the decision to let you go.” I said, “Give me a break.” He said, “Ask people and they will tell you.” I was very happy we had spoken because it truly put some needed closure to a painful time in my life.

Dreams are funny---you think that there is no truth to them, but then you have a conversation like I had and you wonder why it all happened? On Saturday I had another dream, thankfully all I remember was it was just very vivid and one I am happy I didn’t remember because I don’t think it was a good one; but then again, I don’t remember so I can’t say for sure.

The photo above was taken at the Ringling Brothers show a few years ago. Just like a dream, we are often hanging by a thread on what life will bring us. All I know is, when it comes to what I learn from those moments when I am asleep---I know there are times when dreams really do come true and hopefully all for the better.

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Being unlike everyone else.

"Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by

The rules of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes

And leap..."

Sometimes you know what you are doing is not the same as everyone else; okay by me to be different---it’s boring to be like the other guys.

Many years ago, when I first was bitten by the camera bug, I had a meeting with the director of advertising for the State of Kansas. I know there is a twinge of jealousy knowing I was able to meet with him, but during that meeting I learned something about photography that has stuck with me. Being different is what we should all strive to be.

In the meeting I brought up that I had seen the advertising for a photo shoot in the state—it was in Popular Photography Magazine. I asked how it had gone? He said, “You know, it’s interesting, we had a group of amateur photographers who paid money to be on a trip with a professional from National Geographic. When we were given the photos to review, most were the same.” Turns out they all took photos from the same vantage point, watching the professional do his thing and copying his every move. They wanted to get the same shots he was getting.

Sounds smart when you first think about it. But then again, in photography you want to be different, stand out, catch something the other person missed. Competitive? Yes it is.

Since hearing that story many years ago, I have tried to be in different places, lie on the ground when others are standing, shoot upward when others are shooting straight ahead and so much more. For me, being different made shooting photos fun and much more creative. Have I missed some good photos? You bet I have. But I am okay with it because I know I have also done what I feel is the best way to take a picture---be different and enjoy it.

The photo above was taken yesterday at the facility where the Chicago Bears practice. More than 150 students were in attendance to receive awards for reading---my daughter was one of them. Although you can’t see the hundreds of parents behind her—only one was in front of her taking the picture I felt really counted--the one when she was getting her award. I am grateful for that conversation so many years ago---I just wish I remembered his name.

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This is country music.

“It ain't hip to sing about tractors, trucks

Little towns and mama

Yeah that might be true

But this is country music and we do.”

If you have been reading “Snap. Shot” for any period of time, you may remember that I like to listen to country music. Not the old time twangy stuff---it’s hard enough to admit I listen to country—but more of the newer contemporary sounds. (It’s funny because what I now consider contemporary is getting older every day.)

I believe some of my interest in this form of music must be from some gene that is cooped up somewhere deep insider my body. It must be the Iowa gene; yes there must be one, because that’s where my Dad was born, and if you have been to Iowa, you know there is a side to living there that is something we “city folk” should desire to experience one day. Quality of life never was so true.

Living in a large city, like Chicago, for sure has its benefits---but there are sides to our lifestyle that are anything but easy. Traffic, stress, and yes we do have crime here, all contribute to a style of living that takes some getting used to. I am sure the same would be true if I ever moved from a fast-paced lifestyle to say…”Butte, Montana.” I could see myself there for a brief period of time.

The funny part of country music is my ability to be interested in what it’s not hip to sing about. I love watching tractors till the soil, and truckers---I don’t want to be one, but I sure would like to photograph them on a trip. Short one, but still a trip.

The photo above was taken by my wife Susan. She and our daughters went to visit her grandmother, uncle and other family members. As part of the experience they went out to the farm her Uncle Scott owns---although I doubt there was country music playing in the background, it’s a lifestyle I could see myself living in. At least for 48 hours.

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Finally.

“At last

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song”

Based upon the above, you would think today’s “Snap.Shot.” is all about finding that perfect mate---the one who has swept in and removed any doubt that life was to be a mundane passing of time. Sorry, today’s “Snap.Shot.” is about basketball.

Hey, it’s been a long while since I have written about sports---it’s only one day, I will get back to other topics tomorrow.

Since 1998, the Chicago Bulls have played basketball; they have played every year (except this one they are playing less games) and usually in early April, they head home to wherever they spend time in the off-season. But that’s changed in the past few years. Instead of heading home after 82 games---they have stuck around and played a few extra ones. Last year they played more times than they had in the previous 13 years.

This year they will hopefully play a few more than 82 once more---with the shortened season if they play around 90 games they will once again be at the top, the champs, the beloved Chicago Bulls that fell from their perch when Michael, Scottie, Dennis and others left us wondering---what happened?

But now the lonely days are gone. The bandwagon is filling up once more---and people are hopping on to it with every victory. As far as I am concerned---welcome back, you missed some great games. Now we need to make sure we support the team, wear their colors, and know the players. They have changed a lot since 1998 by the way.

If you follow sports you might be familiar with Jeremy Lin of the Knicks and the onslaught of “Linsanity.” He is a very good player---and he is smart---but what the Bulls bring to the court is far superior; they bring teamwork, camaraderie, and a belief that they are a team destined for greatness. Amen.

The photo above is of Derrick Rose driving to the basket at a recent game in Milwaukee. Why Milwaukee and not the United Center in Chicago? When the Bulls are hot, and the bandwagon is filling up, so are the seats; those seats are getting more and more expensive with every victory. Where I sat in Milwaukee would have been more than 7 times what I would have paid in Chicago. So yes my love is back---but so is my “cents” of paying for what I love. Bring on the games.

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Trying to figure out kids.

“A little ditty, 'bout Jack & Diane -

Two american kids growin' up in the heart land.

Jacky gonna be a football star

Diane's debutante in back seat of Jacky's car.”

When you are a Dad, you see things differently; when your children are primarily female, it takes on an even more challenging role. I know. Honest.

As I am now witnessing another daughter starting to date, the reality of it all comes flowing back. A new boy in our home, a little girl letting me know, “it’s none of my business”---and the fun of trying to set the boundaries that seem to be ignored. That is until they need to be roped in because they are not the adults they think they are at this time. I know that one really well too. Tough guy? Hardly. I just know what it’s like to be a boy---and that’s information I find very helpful.

With one daughter in college, and one out on her own, I have to realize they are able to make decisions that they have learned from experience. I am not sure if it is from an experience I have taught them, or their Mom, but I do know that all in all I am very fortunate to have what I have. They are “making it” away from home; and whereas you can never forget they are away from the nest, I hope they always know their way back.

Although we are supposed to get snow today---a lot---I know summer is on the horizon and the worrying and uncertainty of what’s going on will start once more. Oh boy, can’t wait.

Recently I wrote about going to the Daddy/Daughter dance in our town---it seems like it was a short while ago that our older daughters were with me at events like this. Now they would laugh if I even suggested being seen with them; well they would go out to dinner, but to an event or something where we would be “seen”..umm…no way. I don’t blame them. (And I feel weird too.) When my oldest daughter turned 21, she invited me to join in at a bar she had been going to for several years—yes, you know where I am headed with that statement---and to say it was weird being amongst hundreds of other 20 something’s would be an understatement.

The photo above was taken in the fall; one of our daughters needed to take a photo based upon the story of the pied piper. Her boyfriend (I think they are on break now) said he would dress for the role. I have to admit, it took guts but he did it. Why? Because he knew he had to or it would be me in that goofy costume. I was glad he understood that women have a way of letting you know what you are going to do.

Thanks for stopping by.