The light.

“There you stood, that'll teach her

To look so good and feel so right

Let me tell you 'bout the girl I met last night

It's understood, I had to reach her

I let the wheel of fortune spin

I touched your hand before the

Crowd started crushin' in

Now I'm higher than a kite

I know I'm gettin' hooked on your love.”

Today’s “Snap.Shot.” has nothing to be with me, it has to do with the individual who tonight will become my daughter-in-law.

To understand who she is, and what she has endured, is best summed up with one word…”quality.” Sure, this is probably more descriptive for a car, computer, or tangible item, but it’s equally as applicable for Lauren.

Here’s why:

She is thoughtful; she really does care about people, their feelings, and how she can make some feel very much like the most important person on Earth. She is tough; at a very young age she lost her father. Not only did she have to grow up fast, but had to learn to help, nurture, and be a big sister to two younger sisters, who along with her Mom suddenly saw their world change dramatically. Most important, she is my son’s wife. Okay, they aren’t actually married as I write today, but I am assuming all will go as planned; together they make a very wonderful couple.

I have never been the father of the bride or groom so this is a first for me. I spoke with Jason by phone today---for some reason I was the one doing the pacing as we talked. We discussed a number of topics; most important we talked about Lauren. He loves her, cherishes her, and most of all, loves what she has brought to his life. I did provide a bit of advice to him in describing this day; I said, “Jason, this is your wedding day and as important as it is for you as a couple, please remember---it’s Lauren’s day to shine.” His response, “I know Dad.”” This was my way of saying, agree with whatever she says because no matter what you say, the only words that matter are…”I love you and I do.”

As he was going to rest, and I was still pacing, we discussed the speeches being given tonight; he said, “Dad I know you have spent a lot of time writing yours, so I want to make sure everyone can hear it.” What he doesn’t know is thanks to “Snap. Shot.” and my need to write this in 15 minutes or less, I have learned to craft my thoughts quickly. I then started to cry as he said, “I love you Dad.” (It’s going to be a tough night to keep it in.)

The photo above was taken from north of the Hancock Tower in Chicago; what I love about this photo is the light that shines from the middle of the building into the unknowing future, Lauren has provided the guide for Jason to grow into the man I could only “wish” he would turn out to be. Welcome to our family Lauren---we are so happy to have you.

Thanks for stopping by.

Landslide.

“Well, I've been afraid of changing

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older and I'm getting older too

Oh, I'm getting older too.”

Change can be overwhelming---until you try it, and find out it might have just been the best move you have ever made. It’s not for everyone, and unless you are ready for both sides of what can happen, it’s nothing to joke around with.

I know about changing, I know it all too well. Not an expert, just someone who has taken the dive and seen what lies ahead in the unknown. In some respects it has been great, in others, it’s been very hard. But as I look back on what I have done, and why I have done it, I am glad I did. Most days.

Nearly 5 years ago, almost to the day, I decided to make a career change; I didn’t leave the industry I was in, I just ventured out to learn more about it and whether or not more lie ahead for me. Right from the beginning I knew there was so much out there I didn’t know; however, I also saw my net, which had been there for many years, disappear before my eyes. Not known as a tightrope walker, it was really an eye opener.

But there was something I had to remember…this was my choice, my dream, my look into deep space. (Okay a bit extreme). What I saw was more than I could have imagined. Some of it was great and some of it not what was promised.

So I was going to set out and make the changes I needed, to make my mark, set a tone for the future, and make a difference; that is not an easy thing to do and unfortunately as hard as you try, and as right as you think you might be, there are others who may not feel the same. I still have learned more in these 

5 years than I would ever have learned without taking the first step.

So what do I have now? I have a much more interesting life, one that has become more diversified, yet even more challenged as I not only have seen the net disappear, most of the people who were holding the net are no longer in place or in some respects, living. Five years seems like a short time---but a lot can happen.

The photo above was taken at Navy Pier in Chicago; in the middle of winter, no one was around to see if there was any difference between this ride during the height of summer and what was taking place right at this moment in time. Like everything in life, what appeared to be the same, was actually different than the last time we were there.

Thanks for stopping by.

The Space Between.

"The Space Between

Where you're smiling high

Is where you'll find me if I get to go

The Space Between

The bullets in our firefight

Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you

The rain that falls

Splash in your heart

Ran like sadness down the window into...

The Space Between

Our wicked lies

Is where we hope to keep safe from pain."

They say "there is a small space between pleasure and pain;" certainly this takes on many connotations, but throughout life we do have our time of pleasure and our time of pain. Somewhere there is a space between, one I believe where we live the majority of our lives. 

Think this is heavy? My son is getting married on Saturday; for many years I have witnessed his life from the front lines to the sidelines, and I am happy to say come Saturday, "pleasure" is what's on tap. On this day, there is no space between love and happiness.

We live our lives in many respects bouncing around from certainty to worry and back again---these times we are living in have been challenging. I wish I could say they have all been euphoric, but one thing I promise to the readers of "Snap. Shot." is honesty. Since I began writing back in September of 2008, I knew I would probably divulge more information than I ever thought I would, to people I didn't know, didn't know if I knew, and was not sure I would ever know. But I was going to make sure I wrote what was on my mind and share it with whom ever wanted to read it. 

So here you go.

My son Jason was my first born. He came into this world kicking and screaming---I was amazed at the capacity of his lungs and how loud he was for someone so small. Now, nearly 28 years later, I have learned so much about life from this individual---he has completely enriched my life with his sense of humor, commitment to things he really believes in, and most of all, making sure when he makes a decision he lives, loves and stands by it. Jason my son, when it comes to your soon-to-be wife, "you done good." (Yes I know this is not grammatically correct.)

This week I heard from Lauren, my soon to be daughter-in-law's Mom. She had requested a photo of Jason with his Grandmother---my Mom. What she said says so much about the family he is going to be entering---she wrote, "Any chance you could get me a picture of your Mom? I am putting pictures of Lauren's Dad and all of her grandparents on the guest table and would like to put one of your mom there too."

How cool is that?

The photo above will be at the guest table greeting everyone who will be joining Lauren and Jason for this happy occasion. In the time it takes to say, "I do" and know it's for the rest of their lives, tears will flow, love will shine, and everyone who has ever loved Lauren and Jason during their lives will be present, letting them know there is no space between their love and those that love them so much.

Thanks for stopping by. 

Seasons. Change.

“I have moments when I curse the rain

Then complain when the sun's too hot

I look around at what everyone has

And I forget about all I've got.”

When we think we have it bad, it’s best to look around and see how wrong we are. Sure, there are times when the dark clouds have gathered over and times look bleak; but in a matter of moments, hours, or a few days, things can and often do change.

This past week in Chicago, we have been wondering why the weather---it’s phenomenal---has changed from a mild winter to summer? Spring didn’t even really stop by, except to make sure the trees came back to life, and now we have been basking in weather we normally don’t see until June. (It’s March 22.)

But then there’s the flip side of life. Because we are not accustomed to this weather so early, the buildings have not shifted their heating and cooling systems to what would normally happen a month or so from now. So what are we doing on these breathtaking days? We’re complaining the air is too warm. Since we are not able to open the windows---it’s a big building in a big city---we sit there and wonder if we will pass out or not? Oh such problems.

Last night, and the night before, I wore shorts when I was home; actually I have worn them everyday since Saturday. I heard yesterday we are expecting a change in weather. Ah hah, now we are really going to get it. Well, not exactly, it is supposed to be in the 50s. That would normally be the weather we would expect a month from now so we are well ahead of the season.

I am not a fan of winter; even though we had heard this was going to be the winter of all winters, they made the prediction last Fall, they could not have missed the mark by a wider margin. I am just fine with that---because I know there are other winters on the horizon that will be just like we know. Different than this one.

The photo above was taken at Wrigley Field a few years ago when the Cubs played the Cardinals. Just like spring, the hope arrives that this will be a different year for Cub fans. Just like the score indicates, it most likely will not be!

Thanks for stopping by.

Call when you can.

“Jenny I've got your number

I need to make you mine

Jenny don't change your number

8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)

8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9).”

We live in times when phone numbers are not as important as they once were. We have e-mail addresses to write instant letters, we text, and for those who remember when AOL was everything, we still do instant messaging.(We have it at work as a way of asking a question without having to pick up the phone—we’re so techy.)

When I first got a cellphone back in the early 90’s, I had to suddenly remember another number amongst the many I needed to know for reaching business associates and clients. Not a big deal, just another deal—and then I had to learn other people’s numbers that were not published. The number has become part of who I am---it’s a personal identification that allows anyone (as long as they have my number) to reach me whenever they want.

But the cellphone of old is nothing like the smartphone of today. With today’s array of options you can pretty much do anything this device that fits snuggly or loosely into your pocket, purse or brief case. It’s amazing---right there is practically any form of communication and entertainment you need. Exciting and yet sad at the same time---just look at the teens and young adults today.

The company I work for actually has advertisements placed on the structures that have, and used to have, payphones. Yes, there are still payphones out there, not nearly as many as there were, but whether they have a phone or not, the physical structure still remains. That’s where the advertisement ends up for anyone who walks by to see. One thing I didn’t realize is, in New York City, they have payphones (they work) incase there is ever an incident like 911 where the cell system was essentially shut down to overloading. The usage of “landlines” provides the necessary communication to the outside world.

The photo above has been in “Snap.Shot.” before; I used it in a previous blog when I received a call from my Mom while she was in hospice nearly 3 years ago---it was a very appropriate photo for that day. Whereas I will never receive another call from her, I want her to know I have the same number.

Thanks for stopping by.

Innocence.

“Remember when the days were long

And rolled beneath a deep blue sky

Didn't have a care in the world

With mommy and daddy standing by.”

As I approach my 54^th birthday, I will look back and ask myself, “How am I doing?” I have a confession, I do talk to myself; I feel that I know myself best and if I argue with the response from my inner self, no one is going to hear me.

In some respects I have done well. I have a beautiful family, am thankfully healthy, and best of all, I have friends who I can count on. Not as many as I had when I was growing up, but friends who I can talk to about what I need to talk about---or on the reverse side, can talk with me when they have something they need to discuss.

But there are things where I have failed big time. I feel l don’t devote enough time to the family as Susan and I are pulled in so many different directions. I didn’t feel this when I was growing up---maybe it was there, but if it was, I don’t remember. I guess that’s a good thing. I really hope my kids, when they look back, will say, “He was a good Dad.” Hopefully they can over look when I was self-centered and  unfocused---they know it when I am, I will say, “What did you say?” because I was off in a “different thought.”

Life is challenging, but considering the options, it’s pretty darn good.

The other day, after a photo shoot, our youngest, along with 2 kids whose parents we were photographing, went rolling down a big hill. Just like when I was growing up---they rolled, got grass stains, and itched from the grass implanting itself into their arms. It brought back wonderful memories. I loved those times…all we needed was to lie on our backs and look at the clouds to see who we saw in them. However there was a problem, there were no clouds in the sky.

The photo above was taken after the photo shoot. For two children, who are being blended together, you would have no idea they were not the best of friends. When I took this photo I didn’t even have to ask them to do anything more than look at the camera which loved taking their picture.

Thanks for stopping by.

That hurt.

“Everybody was kung-fu fighting

Those cats were fast as lightning

In fact it was a little bit frightning

But they fought with expert timing”

I am not sure, but I have a pretty good idea, why I have never had a desire to be a martial arts fighter. I think it has something to do with pain; actually, I know it has something to do with the fear of getting hurt. For some reason, it just doesn’t sound like much fun to me.

I used to work with a guy who was into martial arts. He actually knew one of the fighters in the UFC. All I remember was his name—it was Andre, and he was from Russia. He was one tough dude; unfortunately there were guys who were even tougher than he was. All I know is he got hurt a lot---and I think I know why. He stepped in the ring with someone who wanted to rip his head off.

When I was growing up, I remember going to professional wrestling matches with my Dad and brother. We loved it. We thought it was real---rather, I did. They knew better. But they never said, “This is fake.” I am really glad they didn’t---I loved believing that men, and a few women, would actually jump from the ropes, slap one another on the body, and perform body slams on the mat that awaited them.

That changed one Friday night. We went to matches and before they started, we walked down to the ring. I touched it and it was heavily padded. I then saw them adjusting speakers underneath; I was crushed---but at least I knew. It’s kind of like discovering the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are not real. Actually they are---I just wanted to see who would go along with me for a split second.

The photo above was taken at a Tae Kwon Do event; boys and girls, from ages 4 and over, were kicking, punching, and grabbing one another. It was not until I saw a miss, and the boy went down, that I knew this had nothing to do with professional wrestling.

Thanks for stopping by.